My Sunday Realization in the Thinking Chair

           I was sitting in my thinking chair in one of my favorite spot of my room. I was thinking of the things that happened to me today, August 21, 2011, a Sunday which really started way too early than the usual. Today I can say that I have been brave. Brave enough to tell to the person I like what I really feel. Honestly, it was not easy but it was not that bad too. It was I guess okay because I did not get a negative response from that person and either a positive response. It was not a big deal after all and what I am sure is that I am fine I made that big step which I seldom do.

          I realized today that when people suddenly like someone you also like or used to love, I realized that its not their fault. That when your friends even your closed ones or even those who swear will not like or love the one you love that its their fault. I realized its not. Its not their fault that they have eyes, the same eyes you have. The same eyes you use to see into others. Its not also their fault that they have emotions and feelings to the same person you have feelings too. Its not. They also have a heart like every single person do. Its like being a fan of a particular boy or girl group or actor or actress or some sort, you don't own them. They have the same likeness wavelength as you do. Everyone has the right to like and love someone unless they have the tags: TAKEN or ENGAGED or IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH.. or MARRIED or PROPERTY OF and the similar tags.

          So I guess liking someone is just a normal thing in life. If the person you like, likes you too and your both ready to take it to the next level, then why not go for it? But if the person you like, likes someone else then you all just have to accept the fact that you don't get all the things you like in life, maybe because that is not the best thing for you. Yours is yet to come.

          Now, if you are reading this, I guess I need not to ask you why because I already got the answer (thanks to my thinking chair your always the best). But if it does get me tonight, well I think nothing will be lost if I try to be brave again and ask you this question that lingers in my head. Just to clear it out and nothing really serious.

Cheers to Life. Cheers to Love.

Hers is the Desire to Love

Hers is the desire to Love
By Eric Paolo N. Quejano

Hers is the desire to love. A love that can only be made complete by a man. As their feelings grow mature and materialize, they were mutually tested through fire and ice. Not long enough, both wonderful beings decided to take their emotions to the next level. Soon they were bound by a promise that they will remain and stay true to each other until death do they part.

Hers is the desire to love. And this love later on was reciprocated by his yearning to love and to live. Both having much love to give, it soon materialize and a new distinctive being was introduced to the world – which was you.

Hers is the desire to love. A love that cannot be replaced by any matter on this world. For hers is the only love that can bear any pain and suffering and sacrifice for nine long months. No man can surpass the unconditional love she possesses. I for one may not know in detail her desire to love, but the fact that I existed is enough to be forever in gratitude.

Hers is the desire to love. And this love she used to build a home – a family. A place where everyone feels safe. A place where everyone can stay true, can grow and can share their love. A place sustained and guided by her light. A light that can be used in times of darkness and distress.

Hers is the desire to love. A love she will pass from generation to generation. A love that will grow and will always be remembered. A love that will be the reason why all of us have existed. A love that offers nothing but an assurance that we will not be forsaken. A love that only a mother – our mother could give.

To all the mothers, moms, mama, nanay, inay, ina, ibu, moeder, mater, mamma, mhathair or whatever you call your mom – a HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY!

Valentimes Day

Valentimes na naman ngunit dibide-dibide pa din ang puso ko. Kalian kaya magiging one plus one is equals two ang drama ng love life ko? Twenty five years na akong dinaraanan ng Valentine’s Day. Nung bata ako kung hindi nanay ko ang kasama ko, yung katulong namin. Madalas mga kapatid kong barako may date kasi si nanay at tatay. Ganon din si yaya na talagang akala mo ay aattend ng JS prom at naka-high heels pa! Bongga ka tey! Minsan naman mga super friends kong wala ding date. Madalas ako lang talaga, soloista sa library o kaya sa coffee shop sipping a grande mocha frappe o kaya sa bahay lang...tulog. Ganon lang.

Pebrero. Anong unang pumapasok sa utak mo kapag nababanggit ang buwan na yan? Malamang sasabihin mo roses, chocolates, si kupido, pana, puso dahil sa Valentine’s day. Siguro may mangilan-ngilan na sasagot ng People Power, EDSA, Cory, Gloria labandera at Erap impeach! May mga sasablay pa diyan at bitter na sasagot ng pabalang at sasabihing, “Pebrero? Pake ko?”. Yung iba pa-innocent effect at akalain mong concern, “Bakit? Anong meron? Birthday mo?”. Tao nga naman, likas na komedyante. Pero kung iisipin mo, mas marami pa ang nagcecelebrate ng Valentine’s Day kaysa sa EDSA. Partida na yan ah hindi pa holiday ang Valentine’s kung mapuno ang mga hotel, motel, sinehan, restaurant, McDo, Jollibee, KFC, beer house, karinderia ni Aling Mameng, sari-sari store ni Tita Linda, fishballan, kariton, pison, taxi, fx, jeep, tricycle, bicycle, unicycle (lagi namang puno yan), angkot, ojek (I’m sure hindi mo alam yan), MRT, LRT, tren, barko, eroplano, jet plane at kung anu-ano pang pwedeng mapuno gaya ng lata ng sardinas, tuna, pork & beans, corned beef...Shet! Tigilan na!

Malamang puno na naman ng kulay pula ang paligid. Yung tipong halos kung san ka mapalingon ay tila may duguan. Kung medyo pa-tweetums ka at pasweet bam-bam, ok din ang pink o kaya fuschia (spelling check - fuchsia) cge red na nga lang. Uso din cyempre ang mga bulaklak na iba’t-iba ang kulay at kinalaunan ay binigyan ng meaning. Trivia time! Ang mga rosas ang pinakasikat na bulaklak tuwing Valentine’s. Pero kung naubos na ang roses sa Dangwa, marami namang ibang options, gaya ng sunflower, kung may budget ka panalo ka sa tulips. Pwede din ang daffodil, honey suckle para may instant merienda or kung wala talaga talu-talo na sa santan. Huwag ka lang magkakamaling magbigay ng chrysanthemum! Tiyak malalim ang kalalagyan mo. Anyway tuloy tayo sa trivia.

Kung nahanap mo na ang kabiyak ng iyong puso o ang maswerte mong iniirog, red ang dapat mong ibigay. Ang pula ay kulay ng wagas na pagmamahal at romansa (ang init bigla!). Kung crush lang, simpleng paghanga dahil ang galing niyang tumambling o kaya kaya niyang mag-baby talk habang nagki-creep walk, pink dapat ang kulay ng flowers mo. Kung gusto mo namang maging masayaang taong pagbibigyan mo (na dapat nga happy na siya kasi may flowers na siya) o kaya dahil ung taong un ang parang aso ang pagiging loyal sa iyo dahil mas loyal pa siya sa ex mo – go tayo sa yellow! (Go USTE!). Kung for peace offering naman para sa nakaaway o nakawrestling mo sa kanto o para sa panibagong simula (muling ibalik) o busilak na kalooban, white ang kulay ng bulaklak. Kung feel mo naman na in heat ka tulad ng araw sa taong pagbibigyan mo, I’m very sure winner ka sa orange flowers. Kung feel mo namang magpakaencantadia, mysterious effect o nabiktima ka ng love at first sight, second sight, near-far wherever you are – patok ang lavender flowers. Pero kung gusto mong magpaka-unique, kahit anong kulay pwede. Kung gusto mo nga ng black why not? Basta klaruhin mo lang ang meaning sa taong pagbibigyan mo dahil kung hindi black eye ang abot mo. Ang totoo, binigyan lang ng meaning ng mga tao ang kulay ng mga bulaklak dahil scientifically speaking chromoplast lang ang tanging rason kung bakit sila may kulay. Meh ganon???!!!

Aside from flowers, bida din ang chocolates. NAMAN! Sweetness ang effect ng chocolates at ako ay isang dark chocolate – bitter. Of course kung sa flowers bida ang roses, meron ding bida sa chocolates. Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa Ferrero Rocher at kung bakit abot hanggang batok ang ngiti ng mga kolehiyala kapag nakakatanggap sila nito pangit man o pogi ang suitor nila. At kung Belgian chocolate spa ang natanggap mo at magpaka-Miss Belgium ka, ewan ko na lang kung hindi mo pa siya sagutin. Kung hindi naman kaya ng budget mo ang mga nabanggit, pwede namang Cadburry, Hersheys o kaya Toblerone. Pero kung wala ka talagang ganong kalaking budget at magaling kang maghanap, may mga substitute tayo diyan gaya ng Cloud 9, Big Bang, Flat tops, Curly tops, Goya, Tivoli, Serg, Choco nut, Tootsie Roll, White Rabbit at ang pinaka-classic – LALA all natural chocolate. Damihan mo na lang para bawi! Pero hindi ko pa natry gawin yan so  can’t guarantee the effectivity. Kung gusto mong magpaka-adventurous, TRY MO!

Maraming naiisip na ideas ang tao para icelebrate ang isang okasyon hindi lang ang Valentine’s. Kung feel mong magpa-unique, kakaiba at out of this world o universe, marami namang pwede. You just have to let those creative juices burst from your mind. If you feel na masyado ng overrated, old-fashioned, mais, baduy, jologs ang flowers at chocolates; pwede ka namang magexperiment. Sabi ko nga let those creative juices burst from your brain.

I am very sure every person has his or her own view of Valentine’s Day. Kung paano icecelebrate, kung papaano pasasayahin at gagawing special ang day na ito. Whether it’s your mom, dad, kapatid, kinakapatid, friend, classmate, seatmate, checkmate, teacher, kababata, BFF, GF, BF, FF (ano un?), ka-FB, ka-MU, your X, Y, Z, ka-HHWWPSSP or kahit ung buong alpabeto, ka-14344 to the cube root of  X find Y to the nth power, fiancé, may bahay, may binabahay, crush, ka-fling, o simpleng kakilala at kangitian lang; huwag nating kalimutan na ang pagmamahal may okasyon man o wala, pwede mong ipakita at ipadama kahit anong oras, kahit papaano may flowers at chocolates ka man o wala. Ang bawat segundo, minuto at oras na ibinibigay mo para sa taong mahal mo ay sapat na o higit pa sa kahit anong yaman na kayang ibigay ng mundo. At higit sa lahat, huwag nating kalilimutang gawin sentro ng pagmamahalan ang Panginoon dahil sa Kanya naman nag-uugat ang pagmamahalan.

Natapos na ang Valentin’es day ko. Wala pa din siya. Sana next year pag-sulat ko ulit ng Valentine note ay may pagbabago naman. Mas maganda kung katabi at kasama ko na siya. Until that time comes, I’ll still be hoping and praying na darating din ang para sa akin. Alam ko andyan lang siya pero siguro, siguro lang maaga pa. Sayang lang, kahit kasi mabasa niya ito, hindi rin naman niya maiintindihan. Hindi bale, actions speaks louder than words naman  so may way pa din. Good luck na lang sa akin at sa ating lahat.

Adik mode:

"Sa dami ng tao ngayon, paano mo kaya malalaman kung sino sa kanila ang para sa iyo?

Baka naman nakasalubong mo na siya kaya lang hindi mo pinansin. Dumaan nap ala sa harap mo kaso yumuko ka para magsintas ng sapatos mo. Nakatabi mo nap ala, kaya lang lumingon ka para tignan nag traffic light. Baka andun na siya humarang lang yung pedicab.

Sa dinami-rami ng tao, may masuswerte na nakahanap na, may mga naghahanap pa, may iba sumuko na. Pero ang pinakamasaklap sa lahat, yung nasa iyo na pinakawalan mo pa. Pero pano nga kaya ano? Kung isang beses lang dumarating ang para sa iyo? Palalampasin mo ba kahit nasa harap mo na?"

-          John Llyod, My Amnesia Girl